This is a bit of stuff about what I'm just coming out of... Its personal but I've left out some stuff you don't need to know, just hear what I'm saying here... It'll save your life. Literally.
I honestly didn't have the best start to the year, don't get me wrong, the new years party and company was top notch... I loved that, but with regards to my relationship with God... it wasn't great.
I kinda went through a patch of feeling left out, forgotten and ignored... a problem that many people go through with their relationship with God. Me feeling this way lead to me being very negative about EVERYTHING. I was just a moody guy with a foul temper for a bit... something I've battled to leave behind.
But, in all honesty, I was annoyed at God. I couldn't see a clear direction my life was going in and personally, I find that very frustrating.. I like plans and knowing what's coming... so my thoughts were 'Well, God knows that I need to know what's going on... Why is he not telling me? This isn't fair.' I chose to try and figure things out on my own rather than seeking God, which I've done about 3 times before... it doesn't work.
I had about had it with Church... I got bored and all meh about it, didn't find any stimulation or excitement there anymore... Then I realized something...
At Kings (the building where part of the Church meets) we have had some quite hyped up meetings of just excitement and craziness... It gets everyone going and on a high, but then you wake up the next morning with the challenges of life there waiting for you at the door... money, jobs, finding a job, relationships - whatever your challenges are - and the high you were on when you went to sleep from the meeting has gone. That's where I began to lose it... I relied on the fumes of excitement to keep my relationship with God going and fresh, the fumes run out and disperse... You cannot build a relationship on the excitement of a meeting once a week.
Its like trying to have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with someone who you see for 2 hours a week and speak to for only those 2 hours... It will break up and end.
The trick is to have an intimate relationship with God on a daily basis, every hour of the day living in His presence not a hyper fling once a week on some mad ride. The excitement is continual once you enter into the deeper parts of God, seeing and hearing new things...
Just one of the lessons I've learnt recently... speaking from experience...
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